hurry.....

what does an introvert do in a house full of 19 people and a 25 lb. turkey for 3 days?!?! hurry. help.

a different world

Still in Texas. Taking in the sights and sounds and smells. Remembering....what it was like...to live here. I grew up in a suburb of Houston, that could have been in any state in the country. But not far from our house, there was a world. There was a state. (That use to be it's own nation :) Where the roads are gavel and the driveways are long. With a mail box at the end. Where there are cows roaming and trains running through farm land. 4 way stop signs on highways. And barbwire fences separating spaces. Where land comes in acres, not feet. Where you could ride horses with your best friend and camp in a field...and see stars at night. Where the trees were tall, and old. Where the sounds were of nature. And they were peaceful. Where you could find....quite. Where you could get away. To a small town. For an afternoon. And feel like you were so far from home.

I ease back into this world so easily. I drive a little slower, talk a little tougher, and remember what it was like to be in this world. But when I enter it now, it feels different. Like I can not stay. Like people look at me, and they know, I do not belong here. That I am just visiting. When did this stop being just....home, and start feeling like a different world?

the white tornado

We are in Texas with Greg's family for Thanksgiving. And after only a few short hours, the stories of the "White Tornado" have begun. I thought they were entertaining a few years ago. Maybe even harmless tales of childhood mischief that could not be contained. Like the time the White Tornado, at the age of 2, unlocked the back door, left the house in a diaper and began to explore the neighborhood (that bordered a very busy street) at 7:00 at night. He was found 2 blocks from home, naked (b/c the diaper was dirty and obviously needed to be taken off) by his dad driving home from work. Or the time his mom looked up to see her 5 year old son and his friend on the ledge of a two story house in Mexico, with an 16 month old White Tornado shuffling along right behind them. B/c obviously there are no screens on windows in Mexico City to prevent such things. Enter story of the White Tornado's cousin that actually fell from a second story window doing the same thing. Or the time an 18 month old White Tornado dove in a swimming pool, unnoticed for minutes and unable to swim. He was found at the bottom of the pool. Lifeless. He was given CPR by his mother and God-father and rushed to the nearest hospital, hours away, where he regained consciousness the next morning. Or the time he was lost at Disneyland. Oh, and Disneyworld also. And countless other places.

Each of these stories now, as a mother, send chills up my spine. They physically make me sick to my stomach. For so many reasons. But mainly b/c I love that White Tornado and shutter at the thought of life without him....and I am raising his son.

Ben....if you EVER SO MUCH AS THINK about sneeking out of the house, climbing on anything higher than your toes, go near water or get out of my sight....I will tan your hide so....you NEVER forget it. (just in case Ben reads my blog).

resourceful

I was asked this week to use one word to describe myself. One word? Seriously? Surely as "complex" as I am it would take 1,000 words. And I would change them daily. As my moods change. As my identity changes (really my identity is in Christ and that never changes...but who I want to be here on earth, changes hourly, which is probably not healthy...add to the topics to discuss with my "mental helper"....when I make an appointment). Where was I?!?! Oh, one word. That describes me. So of course, in my identity lost way, I asked Jodie. :) She came back with all sorts of glowing praise type words. (One of the many reasons we're friends...and the same dress size). Sweet Jodie.

A few hours later I"m at a restaurant with my dear friend Karin. "Auntie Karin" as Ben calls her. He doesn't see her more than every other month or so, but seriously...he'll be playing or coloring and all the sudden look at me and say, "Auntie Karin?" Like when trying to explain that we were going to see Nana and Pop T this week, he just kept saying, "See Auntie Karin? See Auntie Karin?" It was love at first sight. Oh, and Karin held Ben for 2 hours asleep on his first plane flight. Maybe that was it? Anywho...we were at dinner Tuesday night. Hole in the wall Mexican place on the Island..no high chair. After 15 minutes of Ben all over the place, the floor, the table, our dinner....I instinctively grabbed the diaper bag, threw it over the seat of Ben's chair, with Ben seated in it and presto! A seat belt! That my friends....is "resourceful." (which was on Jodie's list) My new favorite word to describe myself. That and "desperate to eat tacos," but that's more than one word.

Lord....why the little ones?

I have been struggling so much this last year with the pain and suffering of little children. I have been angry and sad and confused as to why God allows His precious little ones to endure the greatest evils that plague our world. Why are they not saved from abuse, hunger, disease, famine, sickness, hurt. And why there are mothers and fathers all over the world that have to watch as their children fight to live. And the unborn, with out a voice, fight for the right to life. Lord....why? Help me to understand how, as our heavenly Father, you can let these little ones hurt.

There is so much joy and hope wrapped up in these little bundles. And with that, uncertainty and fear which has to lead to trust. Or despair. God, I pray for trust in You. You who flung the stars into space. And painted the sky. Who has a vision for your people. And loves and protects them eternally. I pray that in their suffering, they are comforted but your unfailing love.

Bananas and Bon Bons.....

try it! delicious and counts as a healthy fruit snack in my book!

what's in that head?

It has just occurred to me that my sweet Ben can say his ABCs, count to 10 in Spanish (but not English :), sign the "Itsy Bitsy Spider," sing the first part of Frosty the Snow Man (we're really over summer here and living vicariously through a board book that my mom gave Ben last winter), spot Elmo a mile away and wakes up asking for his Monkies (Curious George). But knows so little about Jesus. He remembers everything he hears and repeats everything we say. And everyday I am missing opportunities to tell him about the sweet love of Jesus! Sorry Elmo and Curious Jorge, you are going to time out....indefinently.

Like on an airplane

If you know me well....you probably know I have trouble um....how do you say....focusing? Specifically on one item/project/activity for an extended (more than 2 minutes) period of time. But I learned years ago on a cross country flight, that if confined to a small space (airplane seat...which is smaller than small. I'm a small person and BARELY fit!) with limited distractions (in-flight movies to not count as distractions b/c they are generally horrible and I'm never in an ideal seat to see the screen at the right angle) I am able to really buckle down and focus on something (usually work, a book, etc) from take off to landing. I heard about a writer that use to book a NY to LA round trip flight when he was having writers block and would write 5 hours West and 5 hours East. Due to limited funds, a small child and well honestly not really liking to fly THAT much. I have found the second best place (for me). The Cafe at Mariner's church. On Monday mornings I drop Ben off at the church nursery for "Mom's Morning Out" and I head in to the cafe and book store for 3-1/2 hours of uninterrupted focused time. Pray I use this time wisely!

How many calories....

are in a Pipes "big" breakfast (eggs, bacon, potatoes and pancakes), a bowl (or 3) of Peanut Butter Captain Crunch cereal, a log of Ritz crackers, a cheese steak sandwich, a cheese burger, and appetizer size mac & cheese, salad, slider and a birthday cup cake?

Just curious.

My little Pirate

I didn't think Ben was quite old enough to enjoy Halloween this year, but I was SO wrong! I found an excuse just about every day last week to dress Ben up in his (hand me down - THANK YOU SHARON!) adorable Pirate costume and he LOVED it. Boots and all. And by Friday night, if his hat fell off, he'd put it back on himself. We trick or treated (is that a verb?) in Irvine with some friends and their (had to have been at least twenty) kids. Ben was totally in to it. Followed the pack. Went door to door. Held open his little bag. And surrendered all candy to mom! He did even walk right past the candy giver at the door and into their house! I quickly went in after him and made a mental note to have the "stranger" conversation sooner rather than later. We made it about two streets worth of houses before Greg and I were over it. But I think Ben could have gone on for hours. Here's the jolly Pirate and his papa.