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I have so many blog topics to cover this week it's overwhelming. So they are all getting lumped together.

I am too old and should not be shopping in stores that are not stroller friendly. I literally ran into a rack (strategically positioned to keep strollers OUT of the store!) and a sales person at Abercrombie and Fitch the other day. Why did I just admit that? Why was I even there? I was looking for a little something that would make me feel and look 10 years younger. But instead I only found things that made me look like I had two kids and some residual baby weight. Not surprising. Because I have two kids and some residual baby weight.

I use to have a habit of getting a chocolate donut at the grocery store and eating it while I shoped. But I had to break this habit last year b/c Ben starting expecting the donut (and shouting DONUT any time we drove by the grocery store) and demanding more than 1/2 of the donut. And I don't like to share. No really....they are not good for him. So we started getting a slice of cheese at the deli instead. But I shopped with out Ben today, and enjoyed my donut for old times sake. (and as I reread this I am realizing how poorly I ate today!) It should also be noted that I often forget to mention to the checker than I ate said donut and thus forget to pay for said donut. And I know this is stealing. And I don't feel good about it. So every once in a while, I tell the checker that I had 5 donuts and already at them. You know, to pay my tab per se. I will not tell you where I regularly grocery shop so I can not be busted for this.

Ben's first day of preschool is tomorrow. I have been having dreams / nightmares about it. That I forget to send him with something he needs, that I break some mom rule, am late picking him up....how can I have school (PRESCHOOL) anxiety? I have not been in school for YEARS. And I had to fill out all these official forms tonight (no time like the night before....I think they were suppose to be send in weeks ago!) listing info on his health, personality, development, etc. It felt too official. This IS different than the mom's morning out he went to all last year. I pretended that was just child care. And little kids can go to child care. But BIG kids go to pre school. And I have a big kid. And I need to pray for his friends. Lord, I pray for sweet kids and know and love you to surround Ben as he grows and learns for the next 16 years....and after. And I pray that if the woman he is going to marry is indeed in his preschool class tomorrow that we would get an adorable picture of the two of them for the rehearsal dinner video.

And I pray that Ben poops before we have to leave the house at 8:45 tomorrow morning. And I pray that I am not awkwardly early dropping him off tomorrow as I often am. And I pray that I remember his teacher's name. Miss Nicole. And I pray that he does not see me cry. And I'm pretty certain that he will not cry. Because he loves new situations and meeting new people, and toys and games and sand and friends....

And I pray that I will not be mad at Lyle when he wakes up hungry in the next 4-6 hours....because that's his world right now and my job is to meet his needs. And I pray that I love it even if it comes at 1 am and I mentally scheduled our middle of the night party for 3 am.

And I pray for this bible study that I am doing in the fall. Lord....it's all you.

botox and iron

my little longhorn. thanks michelle for the cute onsie. do i look tired? are those wrinkles? i slept in a botox t-shirt (free gift...or maybe a hint from a friend... you who you are. it was very comfy. but did not minimize the appearance of fine lines over night. i guess i have to pay for that.) do you remember what my natural hair color is? i do not. i am tired. but how CUTE is lyle? seriously. and he sleeps all the time. why am i tired? i think i'm anemic. and should be taking iron. but it upsets babies tummies. and that's not nice. so i eat ice cream instead. totally unrelated. but i did. which upsets my tummy. which is not nice. but tasty.

word pictures

drive up the mountain...everyone asleep!













beaver creek rodeo - my happy cowboy!














smiley lyle!
















ben's coloring box (aka the time out box! he couldn't get out!)












big boy bike. he LOVED it and rode for hours each day! thanks gramma and grandpa!












the game of golf. enough said.


















no fear!














sweet view with my sweet boy on the back porch












the gondola at vail mountain












view from the top



















so proud of my little engineer












great grammy and grandpy


















walking the river, just like i did 25 years ago with grampy

in a year....

My how things change in a year. I am sitting in my grandparents guest room in Golden, CO, with Ben's white noise machine cranked so loud it sounds like we're in a thunderstorm in here...to drown out the sound of little lyle grunting and me typing. And it feels like I was just here. But it was a year ago and I was reflecting on my trip, my desire for a second child, my readiness to be back home. And now, I look down at little lyle sleeping soundly. God is good.

Can't help but wonder what life will look like next year.

in 5 days we have....

had lyle's first plane flight
reunited with sweet ben after not seeing him for four days
smiled (me)
drove up the mountain to my parents house
rode bikes (ben)
chased the cat mercilessly (ben)
smiled (lyle)
went to the beaver creek rodeo (all of us)
went to the pool (all of us)
rode bikes (ben)
fell off a bike going REAL fast down my parents very steep driveway (ben)
colored all over multiple moving boxes with markers (hours of entertainment)
had a beer, while taking in the beauty of the view from my parents porch (not ben)
took a nap (lyle)
took another nap (lyle)
slept all day (lyle)
stayed up all night (lyle and lindsay....so tired)
let lyle sleep in my bed and got lots of cuddles
went to the pool again
had another beer (me)
fell down the stairs (ben)
took a walk, broke a sweat (finally!)
watched 1/2 a movie before falling asleep (me)
went to the farmers' market
took the gondola up vail mountain and had lunch
loved the view
breathed fresh air

two days to go. headed to denver tomorrow to see some friends and my grandparents. excited. and tired. and nervous about both boys and i sleeping in the same room the next two nights. and missing greg.

i'm going to see my boy!!!!

lyle and i are headed to the airport shortly. with auntie karin. we LOVE auntie karin. she is coming with us for a vacation / to help with the kidos. yea! i can't wait to get my arms around ben. miss him like crazy.

love to you all in case i am too busy hiking, biking, swimming, yoga-ing, and relaxing to post this next week.

who am i kidding? i am going to be nursing, changing diapers, rocking, sleeping, nursing, changing diapers, rocking, sleeping, and chasing ben around! ....and hopefully breathing in the fresh air. and spending some time praying and planning for the new book / bible study / craft morning we're going to do at GFC starting September 24th!

what do you do when your baby goes on vacation!?!?

ok, i know ben is not my baby. he's 2-1/2. but he'll always be my baby, and he left this morning to go to Colorado with my mom. to the airport. on an airplane. then a two hour drive up the mountain. with out me. just my mom, dad, their cat and ben. for four days. we had a photo shoot in the driveway before he left. thankfully before i really started crying. i miss him already, but know he will have so much fun. and lyle and i are going to meet them in four days. just four days.



















so far i have....
gone for a long walk with lyle
called to see if the plane landed
picked up all the toddler toys floating around the house
called to see if they made it to the car
bought paint to repaint ben's room while he is gone
called to see if they made it up the mountain
painted my toe nails (but not ben's room yet!)
called to see how night time went
had dinner at a friends house
called to see how ben was doing this morning...you get the point.

in all the ground rules i set with my mom, we never talked about how often i was allowed to call!

Don't panic

I have a feeling these words will enter my head many times in the next 18....errr....50 so years with these boys.

Yesterday, was all my fault. I had just packed everyone (sometimes two kids feels like a heard of cats) up to leave Balboa Island and go meet a friend to talk about a new book study we are going to do at church. I put Lyle in his seat. Ben in his. He threw a fit. Didn't want to get in. Or wanted to get in ALL BY HIMSELF. I think I threatened him...with something. He obliged. I threw my keys in the front seat. Shut his door. And ....couldn't open mine. The doors were locked. Somewhere between car seat one, car seat two, "YOU BETTER SIT IN THAT SEAT RIGHT NOW OR ELSE....THE CAR SEAT POLICE WILL COME HERE AND ARREST YOU" I must have hit the lock button.

My heart sank. There were my boys. All buckled in. And locked in the car. "Don't panic," I think.

I yelled for my mom, who had just gone back in the house. She came running. I was already crying. Afraid to make eye contact with Ben. Who incidentally was happily playing with his music player that he had grabbed for the car ride. I immediately think of the second set of keys at home. At least 30 minutes for someone to get them and get back to us. I think to call 911. Because that's what you do in an emergency. And this sure felt like an emergency. I was parked in the shade. But it was hot that day. And my car had been in the sun all day. But before I could call 911, my mom reminded me of the fire station...100 yards away. She ran. I stood behind the car, still afraid to look at Ben. B/c I was crying. And I was praying that he wasn't.

Less than a minute later, up drives the fire ENGINE! The HUGE FIRE ENGINE. 5 firemen and 2 minutes later, the doors were unlocked. Ben had sweat dripping down his face and Lyle was uncomfortably hot. We got them both out and they cooled down quickly.

And I was still crying. And Ben was smiling....getting a plastic fire hat and sticker from the firemen.

No harm done. Lesson learned: don't throw your keys in the car....keep them in your hand at all times.

trampoline time outs?

this might be our solution for time outs. it doesn't appear that "quiet time reflecting on his disobedience" works for sweet ben. so, this might be our solution: click here

a minute of jumping for each year old he is? you've heard the phrases "hug it out" or "dance it out?" at our house we are going to jump it out!

if you think this is a good idea and would like to financially contribute to this BREAK-THROUGH DISCIPLINE EXPERIMENT, or would like your children to participate in the experiment, please do so via paypal.

tweet?

tweet tweet? i have a twitter account. i don't really know what that means. i have not yet tweeted. is that a verb? i started it so i could follow someone on twitter. but i don't really know how to do that either.

i just thought i would let you know.

i don't recomend...

taking your newly potty trained toddler to a bathroom showroom. he didn't understand that the potties didn't work and kept saying, "I go poop here?" which obviously warrented a comment from the sales guy wanting to make sure he didn't find any surprises later. Ben also pretend washed his hands in a bidet. Kind of the perfect height for little guys.

Liquid courage

10 years ago....it was a gin and tonic. with two limes. or a long island ice tea for really big nights. that's all i needed (really I just needed Jesus) to rally for life some nights. this sounds like i had a drinking problem, which i didn't. i was just an introvert trying to be an extrovert and constantly putting myself in anxiety causing situations. and the only coping mechanism i had was a little cocktail to take the edge off. you know....so i could "be myself." obviously ridiculous. anyway. that's not the point.

the point is that this morning...i needed coffee. and the phrase liquid courage popped into my head. that's all i need now to get through my days. coffee. and Jesus.