volunteerism....

greg and I just had an impromptu conversation in the kitchen about me not working any more. really i was talking and tired, sick (everyone has the cold and ben coughed three times this evening....please sweet Lord Jesus don't let this turn into a three week long cough) greg was listening to me come to the very rational conclusion that i don't want to work (volunteer) for Seva for no money any longer and the way my calculator sees it, the longer i work (for no money) the longer I'll have to work (for money) to get out of the land of negative pay and ever break even on this hair (ad)venture. and it's looking like years. and that feels like indentured servitude. and i think after the civil war that is against the law. and what if it's just ben and i for a while? is that ok? b/c two kids feels like it looks like ( to the outside world that I don't care what they think) a full time consuming job and justification for not working (outside the home which was really inside the home which never really worked). and i think i'm sore from chasing ben around fashion island yesterday. more sore than when i work out. which brings me to money saving conclusion #2....drop gym membership and take ben to run around fashion island every morning. or somewhere else that does not accept credit cards.