Discipline or distraction?

I have asked this question over and over since Ben was very young. He would be getting into something he shouldn't be and I would have a decision to make. Do I discipline him because I've asked him not to touch, grab, stand, jump, etc on something and he is continuing to do it, or do I just remove him from the situation (essentially removing him from the temptation) OR remove the temptation all together. ie...removing all the furniture, appliances, electronics, lamps, picture frames, sharp objects, and accessories in our house and padding all the walls.

I believe that he needs to learn that there are boundaries. In life. For safety. And sanity (namely mine). And there is appropriate behavior and inappropriate behavior. For adults. But he is far from an adult. So is there behavior that is acceptable for kids just because they are kids?

Some days I think I am way to hard on him. (Obviously today is one of those days). Poor kid gets all my attention. And I don't miss a thing when it's just the two of us. I'm thinking our little addition coming soon (please Lord Jesus....soon!) will provide a pleasant distraction in Ben's mind so Greg and I aren't all over him all the time. He'll surely have a little more freedom to explore his inner mischievousness with out getting caught! And hopefully with out getting hurt. Or maybe it's that I'm not giving him enough attention. He asked for a spanking today. Really? What do I do with that? I asked him why and he didn't answer. Then I asked him is spankings hurt and he said yes. Sooooo? What part of hurt do you want? I don't understand. And is spanking against the law? Really, I need to know. Because I pulled the car over this morning and gave Ben a spanking in the back seat and am wondering if someone was watching, writing down my license plate number and going to contact the authorities? See....I have this unhealthy FEAR of authority. Always feeling guilty for something that I haven't done, thinking I will be wrongly accuesed, and have to serve time. And sweet Ben....is asking for spankings. And has NO FEAR of any (unpleasent) consequsence he has been given thus far. He is usually giggiling.

So what starts out as simply asking Ben not to do something. Turns into him continuing to do it. Which is disobedient in my mind. And there needs to be a consequence. But if I punish him for disobeying, the thing he was doing doesn't always seem worthy of punishment. Do you hear me? Then I question whether I've made too big of a deal of something small and I should have just creatively redirected his energy. Which is what I feel like I'm doing all day. Redirecting his ENDLESS energy towards non-life-threatening activities. And when I say life-threatening....I am exaggerating a little....but sometimes the sanity in my life is in danger.

And soon....there's going to be two of them.

And this week Greg and I talked about what we want Ben's motivation for obedience to be. Is it fear? Well...no. I don't want him to be afraid of us. Or afraid of consequences of not obeying. Out of a desire to please us? Kind of, but not in a acceptance seeking way. I want him to desire to obey us....out of love. Really. Isn't that why we strive to obey God? In response to His amazing love? I want Ben to know our love, our endless, boundary-less, consuming, unending, ever-growing love.

And I don't want him to remember his mom as being easily angered. Lord, please give me wisdom that I will parent Ben with love and neither punish him unnecessarily, nor disobey You by not addressing behavior the needs to be addressed. Please show me that line, and help me walk it.