Love basket

Ok ladies (....I'm fairly certain I don't have any male readers out there!) I got this idea from a book I'm reading with my dear friend Karin. The book is titled "Youniquely Woman" and it is written by 3 wise, old women that love Jesus. I don't think they'd mind me saying old. I think they are old no matter how you look at it. But they have lived well and experienced a lot and share openly. It's good stuff. And very practical. Which I appreciate at this stage. No time to ponder HOW to incorporate life changing principles into my life....must clean the floor. Use vinegar and water? THANK YOU. That is the kind of information I was looking for.

So back up two weeks, and Greg basically lived at his office for a week straight. He was up and out before I even thought about opening my eyesin the morning, and home long after Ben and I were in bed. Now I can't say I'm the BEST at consistently providing a healthy, hot meal for my family for dinner. It is usually thrown together some time between 6-6:15. ......but poor Greg had been eating the second 1/2 of a $5 footlong for days and I was feeling bad that he was stuck at the office will an insurmountable load of work. And I am being as supportive as possible with his work load these days, knowing that as soon as the baby comes, I will likely not be supportive of his work load at all and want him home a lot more. But I'm holding on to that card for now.

Anywho....I'd just finished reading the section on marriage...you know, how to have a good, loving one? And one of the suggestion was making a love basket for your husband. (Although this can be done for anyone who needs a little love. Friend. Neighbor. Mom. Sister. Share the love!) I'm not sure this guarantees a good, loving marriage, but it sure helps it when one or both people need a little pick me up.

So Ben and I spent the morning gathering Greg's favorite snacks at Trader Joes, making him a tasty sandwich for lunch, and spicy curry chicken for dinner. We packed a bag full of fruit, drinks, snacks and both meals. Added hand made cards with all sorts of love, and called him to make the delivery.

We met Greg outside his office and delievered the goods. First it was just good to see him during daylight hours. And he sat in the car and played with Ben for a while, which was also wonderful. And he was so blessed by the love basket. And even better is that Ben and I were so blessed to make it. We had such a fun time with our project and thinking of creative ways to tell daddy how much we loved and appreciated him. Even if I'd started the morning bitter that he wouldn't be home for dinner again, it ended with love. Lots of love.

Share the love ladies!!!

V.I.C.T.O.R.Y!

I'm not claiming sleep victory forever....but Ben went right to bed last nigh in his crib tent and slept until 7:00 this morning. At which point he called for me. Said he had to go potty. And went on the toilet.

GREAT start to the day!

V.I.C.T.O.R.Y! Do you all know that I was a cheerleader in high school? :)

Ultimate Fighting Championship....Cage Match

The crib battle is on.

Ben won't stay in. And won't sleep in his big boy bed. And is not deterred by an punishment we have given him at this point. And just runs out of his room over and over and over and over i'm so tired and over and over and Greg took him on a drive in the car (AGAIN!) to get him to fall asleep last night at 10:00 and he came running in our room at 6:00 am....and that's too early and over and over again...and I'm having a baby SOON!

So, thanks to my new best friend Kristen, who recommended the "crib tent", I have bought and put together our solution. Please Lord, let this work. Everyone needs sleep. And I'm having a baby SOON!

Send your kids over for the Royal Rumble on Saturday. (My brother use to make me watch wrestling and some of the terms kind of stuck with me! Yikes.)








Afternoon update: Ben took a nap in his new tent / crib. Although, he was asleep (fell asleep in the car....he HAS to be as tired at we are) when I put him in. He woke up screaming....probably what I would do if I woke up in a prison. But he was contained. We'll see how tonight goes.

I curse My Gym....

Sounded like such a fun activity a few months ago. An outlet for Ben's endless energy. No rules. Just hard playing for an hour. Lots of kids. And things to jump on. And climb. Up and down. Ben has had so much fun and learned all sorts of new skills. Lots of climbing. Ladders and stairs and slides. Up and over. Railings. And bars. And I gleefully cheered him on as he mastered each challenge.

And now......these new "skills" have served him well today in mastering climbing out of his crib.

HOLY SCHNIKES!!! HE WILL NOT STAY IN IT. AND WILL NOT STAY IN HIS ROOM FOR NAP TIME. AND IS SO PROUD OF HIS NEW FOUND FREEDOM. EVEN AFTER SEVERAL (PAINFUL) CONSEQUENCES FOR LEAVING HIS ROOM AFTER BEING TOLD NOT TO. AND I'M HAVING ANOTHER BABY IN A MATTER OF WEEKS....OR DAYS. AND MY TWO YEAR OLD IS RUNNING FREE LIKE A CRAZY MAN AROUND THE HOUSE.

Sorry baby #2....but no My Gym for you!

Sunday morning update: Ben happily WALKED into our room this morning at 6:00 am. "Good morning dada. Good morning mama. I awake. I get out." Clearly son. So good to see you.

On the cross on a hill

Ben and I went to visit my old roommate Danielle and her 4 (FOUR, CUATRO!) kids yesterday afternoon. Her oldest two girls are 4 and 5 and were adorable with Ben. They showed him their room, let him play with all their stuffed animals, jump on their beds, chased him around, and just loved on him. It was really sweet. They also asked him a bunch of questions (where are your eyes, nose, etc) and giggled as he responded. Then they proceeded to ask him where Jesus was. (I think they were trying to stump him!) I had no idea how he would answer this question because it's not something we've talked specifically about. Or at least not in a location sense. The girls were looking for the answer, "in my heart," but Ben looked right at them and said, "He's on the cross. On a hill." And kept playing. I was amazed.

Yes son, Jesus was on the cross, on a hill. For us.

We read a book titled, "Thank you God" before bed time quite a bit. And there is a page that says, "Thank you God for the cross on the hill and the Bethelam star." And he put the two and two together. It was such a tender, sweet moment. (obviously I've asked him 100 times since yesterday afternoon where Jesus is just to hear him say it again. I'm so annoying. But it's PRECIOUS!)

Lord, I pray that you grab hold of Ben's little heart.

and the thoughts continue....

can you send your child to time out just because they are annoying you?
can you have PMS when you're pregnant?
how long can you (legally) leave your child in the car (with the car engine off of course) in the garage listening to music?
how loud can you yell 'FREKING MOTHER FREKING SH**' outside your car with out your child hearing you? and if you just think it but don't say it, does God hear you?
how far is too far to drive just to have your child fall asleep during a non nap time in the back of the car?
is noon too early to have a drink....by yourself....when you are pregnant?
do any of the above items cause permanent emotional damage to your child that will result in therapy?

on a more positive note, after the joy of pretzels wore off, I upped the ante for peeing on the potty and apparently ben WILL pee for a cupcake. i'm sure he'll have me baking him a cake a day to poop soon enough.

pre pardom despression....and other misc. topics

a phrase Greg coined on Saturday, obviously in response to my awesome state of mind as of late. (am I the only one that still uses the word awesome? i say it will all sarcasm if that's any consultation.)

we just had a tough week. pregnancy symptoms are piling up, ben has discovered his inner whinny voice and shares it with me from 6 am - 8 pm, did I mention there is pain in certain places in my body that causes me to say things like "freking" continually through out the day, to which ben has now started repeating me. "awesome." I pee at least 4 times a night. and greg's had an insane week at work last week / weekend and is traveling this week. thank God for Gramma Dorie who is staying with us and watching (the first of at least two episodes) sesame street with Ben this morning.

random developments to note. ben and i are in a full out power stuggle over the "potty." he was doing really well the first couple weeks. really appreciated the encouragement, praise, etc when he'd go on the toilet. but (b/c I've been telling him what to do too much lately) he's just refusing to sit on it now even though he is VERY aware when he needs to go. the only time he will sit on the potty is when he is trying to avoid nap time. and he'll sit there with out peeing for HOURS if i let him. which obviously i don't have the patience for so I take him off and he throws a total coniption fit which then makes me question my decision and potty training consistancy....and letting him try to go. then my ass tells me i've been sitting on the bathroom floor for too long reading stories and it's long past nap time. so I pick him up and throw him screaming into his crib. and he tries to climb out while screaming and crying histerically and yelling "i try again. i try again."

he is capable of climbing out of his crib but hasn't "gone over" yet. he gets up with one leg over the side and greg or i are usually there to act as a barrier and not let him go any further. it's only a matter of time.

ben has decided that the red chenille blanket in our living room is his "baby brother." he balls it up and carries it around and tries to put newborn diapers on it. (jodie, thanks for the donation but they might all be used before the baby actually comes unless I change their hiding place.) he got a burp cloth out yesterday and tried to burp it. then put it down for a nap. obviously (being the controlling person that I am) I have tried to replace the blanket with several of his stuffed animals, which seem like much more logical "baby brothers"....to no avail.

at my last dr. appointment, my (God bless her) OB said she's induce me at 39 weeks if I so choose. to which I almost started crying i was so excited to see the light at the end of the tunnel and be able to add an entry to my calendar that said, "have a baby" on a specific date in mid june. all of my calendaring dreams coming true. planning for where ben will go when we go to the hospital. bag packing. nesting "schedule." i LOVE it! but since then, i have started to think maybe this isn't the best idea and i should just wait until i go into labor? let nature takes it's course (even if it involves painful laboring at home for hours and hours and hours and hours like last time) praying for wisdom (not advice) here. i mean really, I could pick the day of the week that best suited my schedule? greg would know when he was going to be out of work? fabulous.

he can not be contained.....

I really do have so much fun with Ben as we go about our days. He brings such joy and hilarity (is that a word?) to the mundane. Driving to the market....a shreek from the back seat...."MAMA....I SEE A DIGGER!" "OCEAN" "WHERE ARE WE?" "IS THAT BEN'S HOUSE!?!?....no.....IS THAT BEN'S HOUSE? THAT'S BEN'S HOUSE!!!!" "THERE'S THE MARKET." "WE GET CHEESE AT THE MARKET. AND COOKIES. (which I never buy but he requests, knowing we don't have any at home and the market is where you get all things you want but don't have at home.) And he says hi and bye to everyone we pass at the market. Or anywhere for that matter. And he learns new things everyday. Whether it's a new word. Or a new trick (dragging his little chair all over the house so he can officially reach EVERYTHING....all the while declaring "I SO TALL!")

Each of these moments my heart is simultaneously filled with such pride, amazement that he is growing up so fast, and HOLY SH** how do I parent in this next stage of his life?!?! How do I keep him safe and happy and challenged?

So today, Ben declares, "I UNLOCKED THE DOOR ALL BY MYSELF!" My heart stopped. (thankfully he was talking about the door to our back yard, not the front door. Which for the record is kind of broken and I can't always open myself....which is a convenient safety measure for the time being). Let me back up.....since the day Ben was born, if ever he was having a fussy, crying for no reason, cranky, I'm not happy and I don't know why (etc!!!!) moment, if we just took him outside, the crying stopped. This worked from the time he was a week old, to today. Never fails. There is generally less whining, complaining, and all around fussiness when he is outside. It's his happy place. And apparently it's an even happier place if mama or dada is outside with him.

And now, that Ben can unlock and open the back door, we will apparently be living outside....for the next 16 years. Wish me luck. We already have Ben's potty out there. And next step is a cooler. And a sound system. I'll be working on that this afternoon. Now that Ben refuses to come inside, which means it will be near impossible for us to leave the premises.

Are you my mother?

One of Ben's favorite little board books is titled, "Are You My Mother?" It's short and silly and well worn. And we've been reading it for over a year now. But he still likes it. The little bird, searching for his mama, asking all the animals he sees, "are you my mother?" It's kind of sad. And kind of silly. And the bird returns home and finds his mother at the end. Sorry if I ruined it for you. :) But sometimes I look at Ben and think....am I your mother?!?! How did that happen? I feel too young, and not qualified! And how can you be two years old already?!?! And at that same moment, he shoots me a smile, a little laugh and says, "MAMA!" and I know it's for real.

And I never could have imagined the love. And joy. I could enjoy from just watching a little boy play. And discover new things. And sing me songs. And be proud of himself. And want me to be proud of him. The soul satisfying moments holding him. And laughing with him. And comforting him. And encouraging him. And teaching him.

Thank you Lord for this joy. And an official holiday to celebrate it that included coffee brought to me this morning, a sweet card and thoughtful gifts and tasty meals....that I did not prepare or clean up. Amen!

Irish man gets a tan

Greg's not really Irish. I think Thorburn is Icelandic? I should know this, having married into the family. Anyway, my fair skinned, red bearded husband had an adventure in spray tanning this afternoon. And I'm still laughing about it.

One of the many (so many I had to start a spreadsheet to track them all....my inner project manager is still quite alive) to do projects around our house this weekend was to add a fresh coast of paint to a patio table. Greg primed it last weekend and was all set to go with the spray paint this weekend. Obviously he'd chosen a burnt orange color to replace the dull brown it had been painted for years, you know, because Texas Football season is only 117 days away. Well, the burnt orange turned out to be more of a highway construction sign BRIGHT orange. And for some reason (still don't have clarity on this becauase I was napping....my "project" for the weekend) he decided to spray paint said table in the garage. And in the process, spray not only the table, but the garage floor, and....this is the hilarious part, his arms, legs and feet got a solid coat of BRIGHT orange paint. When he took his flip flops off there was a distinct outline of the straps, and sweet orange feet. His arms had a nice glow to them as well. I just laughed and laughed and laughed. Not sure why I thought it was so funny. I should have taken a picture, but that might have been pressing my honey do list luck.

Love you honey!

inappropriate blog topics

I can still remember when I found out I was pregnant with Ben. I was so excited and a little shocked. And couldn't wait to go buy my copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting!" It's like a rite of passage or something. I didn't dare buy it before seeing those two pink lines on the pee stick as not to jinx anything. (Sometimes I am crazy superstitious...which I know goes against everything I believe as a God fearing, Jesus loving, bible believing Christian). Anyway, so I rushed out and purchased my copy. Sweet woman wearing the sweater version of a mumu, pink ....leggings?.....and clogs. In her miserably uncomfortable wooden rocking chair. With a little fear in her eyes. B/c she knew something I didn't. Right after the elation of knowing you're going to have a baby sets in, you get to the page that lists "what you may be feeling." Note: this is after the page with the "pregnancy diet" that I stuck to for approximately 1 day. Sorry in advance to my children. So physically, I might be feeling....like this is the beginning of an amazing chapter in my life, a time of bonding with my husband, hopes, dreams, love for an unborn child, nerves about parenting....or: increase in vaginal discharge (you were warned with the title of this entry), achiness in the lower abdomen or along the sides, constipation, heartburn, indigestion, flatulence, bloating, occasional headaches, faintness or dizziness, nasal congestion and occassional nose bleeds, leg cramps, backache, mild swelling of the ankles and feet, varicose veins of the legs, hemrrhoids, itchy abdomen, shortness of breath, difficutly sleeping, clumsiness (and just all around idiot-ness) and enlarged breasts. And the feeling like someone with a steal toed boot kicked you in the crotch. So basically I'm a big boobed ditz waddling around in a hell of a lot of pain and discomfort? Where is the "pregnancy glow" that the crazy ladies with 12 kids talk about?

For now, I will ignore the "what you may be feeling emotionally" section and just say: crazy lady that my husband doesn't take seriously for 9 months b/c I'm crazy and repeat myself a lot and not as smart as the woman he married.

At 33 weeks along.....I have experienced enough of the symptoms above to confirm that I am indeed pregnant. I will not name them specifically for those of you that are not pregnant or have not given birth to a child in the last 12 months and would not appreciate it. I shouldn't have wasted my $ on the test 8 months ago. :)

On a side note, we do not have a name for our dear unborn son that is causing the aformentioned "joy" in my body. Suggestions?

happiest place on earth

I spend a lot of time trying to discover who Ben is as a little boy. I don't want to label him. Or put him in some box or category: spirited, angel, social, emotional, etc. I don't like it when people do this to me, as a some what confident, self assured 30+ year old, I can only imagine how frustrating this would be for a two year old. Who doesn't know who he is or who he wants to be. And his options are limitless. But in an effort to be sensitive to his little soul, I am constantly making note of what makes him happy, what could upset him, when he gets excited, when he gets frustrated, etc. Basically so that I'm not torturing him unknowingly as we go about our days. All this coupled with my neurotic tendencies that I try not to project on him (fear of abandonment, anxiety with new places / situations, need for alone time, etc). I try to be so sensitive anytime Ben will be in a new situation, or new place with new people, that could overwhelm him. Especially if I am not going to be there. But he always seems to thrive in these (scary!) new situations. Loves meeting new people. Loves new surroundings.

So why should I have been at all surprised that my sweet Ben looked like this for 5 hours (right through nap time) at Disneyland on Friday? Aparently not overwhelmed AT ALL by the masses of people, crazy characters, dark rides, and loud noises! He literally just kept saying "we go on more rides mama? more rides? more boat? more train? more taxi car?"

True lies of a crazy mom

Today (really this was written a month ago and I forgot to post it. You will be happy to know that sweet Ben has since returned to us and his evil twin....has not been seen in weeks), I did not do any of the following (in case the nomiations for mom of the year are due in soon):

Pretend to be asleep at 3:45 am when Ben was coughing so Greg would get up and go check on him. To which Ben responded "I want my pacificer." You know....the love of his life that we took away from him three weeks ago and his repaying us every waking moment of the day and sometimes night for? Yes, that one. Greg ignored the question. I am so proud. (I threw them all away anyhow.)

Beg Ben to watch a second episode of Sesame Street so I could lay on the couch a little longer and try to get some sleep. And pour him a second bowl of cereal to seal the deal.

Allow my son to eat donut holes for second breakfast.

Spank him in Nordstroms and tell him he's lost privileges" (while being totally vague knowing he has no idea what "privileges" are) for pulling dozens of ties, socks, shirts, etc off shelves while I was CHASING him around the store. While Greg was happily trying on a beautiful pair of 100% wool, lined, classic flat front slacks that were going to be custom tailored to fit perfectly. (I think I need a job that requires I don't buy my clothes at Target).

Pay some guy to make a "Monkey Climbing Up a Tree to Get Bananas" balloon animal at Ruby's to entertain him for 5 minutes while we waited for our food. I would have paid him $100, but thank goodness I only had a $5.

Allow my son to eat french fries and cheese for dinner.

Pay $1 to let my cranky disobedient son ride the carousel to again provide a 5 minute glimpse of the pre-two year old tantrum throwing, emotionally unstable, occasionally angry child that use to be my sweet Ben. And he was. "Mama....I ride horse! Giddy up. Giddy up!"

I think I should write a book titled, "I Will Give You Whatever You Want As Long As You Stop Whining." Would you buy it?

this is why i have always been afraid to be a writer....

WRITERS BLOCK! Seriously...still nothing noteworthy to blog about. Or lacking a brain power to retain good ideas to blog about. Probably the latter.

I have writers block and potty training block! Don't know where to start. Afraid to start. Want to start...before my unborn, unnamed baby boy is born in approximately 8 weeks. For those counting, yes, I'm rounding down hoping with all my heart that he makes a little bit of an early appearance like Ben did.

So back to potty training. I think Ben is more interested and committed than I am. He's totally into his Potty Book. His big boy underwear and asks to sit on the potty every time we walk into the bathroom. And I usually tell him, we'll sit on the potty later. Let's just get in the tub, wash hands, etc. B/c I'm generally lacking the patience to sit on the floor of the bathroom for hours on end waiting for the blessed tinkle. Maybe if we do this in our bathroom and I bring some sort of really comfy chair for me to sit on also? Or a mini fridge? And a TV?

I've heard it's easiest to potty train in the summer b/c it warm out side and there's lots of opportunity for naked play time in the back yard. Well.....it's flat out HOT outside this week. And Ben has the starts of a little cold so we are on social event probation....so maybe I should just GO FOR IT!?!?!?!? I'll talk to Ben and see what he thinks.

UPDATE - 5 minutes later. I put Ben on the potty and left the bathroom (I'm sure that's a no no but honestly I have not read any of the potty training books to know) to go get the perfect comfy chair, load of books and reward snack in case there was a tea spoon of pee in the toilet......and when I returned, Ben declares. I have a dirty diaper. That's right.....he pooped in the potty! Maybe he just needed privacy?

nothing.....

i have nothing to write about these days. or just haven't felt inspired. maybe i'm officially back in the sleepy / lazy / pregnant zone? and lost my funny bone?

some not so interesting thoughts: i have started saying "the boys" when referring to my "children" a lot. like..."the boys" will likely destroy that, or "the boys" will have so much fun pulling that off the shelf and breaking it, etc. i think i'm just preparing myself.

and greg and i had a date night / date day this weekend as ben spent the night at my aunt and gramma dorie's house. we enjoyed a few good meals out, miscelanous shopping and strolling around town. it felt like before we had ben. out running errands. talking about baby names. me listing things i wanted done to the house before the baby comes :) but after 24 hours, i miss him like crazy and am going to reclaim my son!