July 18, 2009

I do it! I do it! I do it! (said in the whiniest voice possible)

Ben's battle cry these days is, "NO! I DO IT. I DO IT. I DO IT." Said in repetition every time. Often with tears forming in his eyes. And a desperation in his voice I did not know was possible for a two year old. A "the world is ending if you pour that milk for me mama. I WANT TO DO IT ALL BY MYSELF. AND I DON'T CARE IF THE WHOLE CARTON SPILLS ON THE FLOOR. I DO IT! I DO IT! I DO IT!!!!" Where does he GET this from?

Sadly, I think he gets it from me. I wouldn't say that I'm a perfectionist. Because I don't always need things perfect. I just need them done my way. My way of cleaning. My way of organizing. My way of cooking. My way of driving. And while we're at it. My schedule. My time. My, my, my. Not only do I inflict this on my husband, and kids, but....God?

I do it God. My way. My timing. My decision. My stuff. My life.

Well, not really. As hard as it is for me to accept this, the reality is that it's God's world. God's stuff. God's timing. And He does things far better than I do. And I need to just let go. Control less. And trust more.

And Ben....please CHILL with the I DO IT! We will do it together with God's help.

No comments: